Drunken Mystic

A tribute to my beloved Guru.....Father Jois



Posted: Wednesday, July 29, 2009

by Drunken Mystic
http://drunkenmystic.wordpress.com

It was on the 6th of January 2003. I was just about to complete my participation in a theatre production by the Madras Players of Chennai. It was a play written by the renowned author Mohan Narayanan called, "Ashwaha". I was already feeling restless in Chennai and had a great passion for yoga and I wanted to be under a Guru and go through the ancient form of training which was once upon a time a way of life in India. After spending a year in the Bihar School of Yoga in Munger, which is in the state of Bihar, I had collected a lot of information about how vast the field of yoga was and how many various traditions existed in this vast field with their respective Gurus. One among them was a tradition started by T.Krishnamacharya who was a great yogi himself. He had students with the like of Shri K.Pattabhi Jois, B.K.S. Iyengar and T.K.V.Desikachar, his son. I had met a few students in the yoga school from New Zealand and U.S.A. who were already practicing Ashtanga Yoga which inspired me to research on it further more. I read a few books, and also spoke to a few more people, and they all had great praise for Father Jois.....that's what they call him with love. 

     Coming back to where I started from, so I called him on the 6th of January and the phone was ringing for a while and I didn't know who would answer the phone. But to my surprise Guruji answered the phone!!! He spoke in a very feeble voice, and asked me something in Kannada. I told him, "Sir, I don't understand Kannada, can you please speak in English?" Then he asked me in English, "Who is this?". I introduced myself to him and told him that I was from Chennai and that I was interested in learning yoga from him. He told me the registration was on the 11th, 12th and 13th of January and the course starts on the 16th of January. I asked him, "Can I come on the 20th of January?" He replied sweetly, "No problem". Then I asked him about the course fee and he cleared my doubts and realised it was well within my budget which my father could support me. I was so excited I was looking forward to seeing him and start my lessons. 

I finished my production commitments in Chennai and left for Mysore on the 19th of January. I took a train in the morning for Bangalore and I reached there around 1:30 p.m. and from there, I took another connecting train to Mysore which was another two and half hours. Still excited about where am I going to stay and how shall, I find a place and what would, it be like when I see him........ All these questions and thoughts were running random across my head as I just continued to enjoy the view on my way to Bangalore and Mysore, which is extremely beautiful. Especially, from Bangalore to Mysore you see the lush green fields where farmers are ploughing and picking crops, and the beautiful rock structures and small mountains and cliffs are just captivating. This is something I enjoyed and I am sure everybody did, who travelled often to Mysore. 

I reached Mysore in the evening, and I straight away took a room in a lodge and took a long rest that night. The next morning, I took a nice shower and got ready to go and meet Father Jois. I reached his old home, which I wasn't aware he had vacated long back and moved to a new big one where he was conducting his new classes. The old home is much smaller, and I was told, this was where he had started teaching Yoga. He was a simple Sanskrit scholar making two ends meet and slowly he came up a long way and rose to fame all over the world with his teaching skills. I just stood at the door step of his old Shala (school). His driver asked me to come inside and sit down. He told me Guruji was upstairs and he would be coming down in a few minutes. He came down in a few minutes, and I just stood up as gesture of respect and he gave me a stern look and asked me again something in Kannada which I didn't understand then, but later I did when I picked the language from the locals. I reminded him of the phone conversation we had and then he remembered that I was from Chennai. He was silent for a few minutes, and as he continued to leave the house and put on his sandals, he told me, "Come on Thursday". That's all. I said, "o.k." and I left right away looking for a place to stay. I found one just two kilometres away from his home and it was pretty o.k. for the time being. 

I started my first day of practice on a Thursday, 24th of January and I was enjoying every bit of my experience with him. He just behaved exactly word to word, as it was described in the book, "From here to nirvana" by Anne Cushman and Jerry Jones. I rang the bell which never worked properly, but still it managed to ring fine so somebody could hear it. I think it was more with the switch than the bell. He came and opened the door and looked at me and exclaimed, "Yeah, come". Then he took me upstairs and made me sit next to him, and asked me to fill in the register my name and all other information and then asked me to pay the registration fee and the monthly course fee and then asked me to go down. He came down slowly wearing black shorts and a singlet, exactly the same dress which I had seen in the photo of an article published by the Chicago Tribune. There was nobody except me and I was all alone that day. He first asked me to remove my shirt and also asked me to wear shorts. I was so stupid, I didn't come prepared. So I had to just remove my shirt and practice in my long tracks. He started with the Surya Namaskar -1 and he finished it short the first day. As it was my first practice, I experienced a tremendous amount of energy coming from somewhere. It was just flowing so beautifully, that my aura was filled with peace and love. Every touch of his was a healing touch. The way he communicated through silence was more than enough and never gave me the feeling to talk with him or engage him in any conversation. 

Weeks passed by and months passed by, and I slowly started to realize the greatness of my Guru whom I hadn't accepted as a Guru yet. I was still testing him to see how true and qualified he was to be a Guru. In spiritualism when it comes to realizing the Self, both the Guru and the Disciple have the right to test each other. One day, as I was practicing, he was looking at me quietly. Suddenly, my mind was filled with restless thoughts, and I knew he knew every thought and feeling of mine. I sensed it through his expression. Any day, if he would see me not giving hundred percent of myself, he would show it very subtly through his expressions and energy, but he wouldn't say anything. Then I would also understand that Guruji is upset with me and I would try to bring my concentration back into the practice. So as he was looking at me, I just turned around and asked him, "Guruji, after my practice when I go back to my room, I am always filled with worldly thoughts". He smiled and said, "You should not think of unnecessary things, you should think of God". That was so sweet to hear from him, it really filled me with more love for him. I was so happy to hear such words coming out from his mouth. There was never one moment where I felt his absence for the three years I lived in Mysore. He would be sitting outside, but still he would know when to come and assist me for a posture which I have been struggling with. He would never come down through the practice and just stay upstairs. But, he would suddenly come down exactly for the posture for which I would need his assistance. He knew everything. He saw everything, and he heard everything which I haven't spoken out loud. He just read me and scanned me completely. 

There would be days when I'd be feeling low in confidence and be wondering if I practiced well or not or if I was really progressing. He would sense it right away, and smile at me and give me a wonderful expression which said, "Your practice is really nice". That would just lift me up and push me and inspire me to practice better. He always knew how to work with energies. In the midst of my wonderful days with him, I would constantly hear criticisms about him in the city from locals, as well as foreigners. That would always put me in a state of confusion and I would be wondering, are these words true? One day, I was travelling by the auto-rickshaw and the driver asked me what I was doing in Mysore. I told him I was learning yoga from Pattabhi Jois. The minute he heard the name, he started saying, "he is very money-minded person and very stingy and never gives money to anybody". I was startled to hear this and I heard the same sentence from many people. But I just kept quiet and, I did criticize him in my mind the next day during my practice and he was totally upset and he had a very low expression on his face. I was also embarrassed that I had such thoughts about him. 

But later on, I understood that he is not what he seems from the outside. I started to look deep inside his heart. And he was a man with a heart of gold. He was a man with a heart of great patience and love. And the relationship which we shared was special, but still he showed the same love and patience to all others who came to learn from him. He was never biased. He answered every doubt and every question of mine. Just a few words from him filled me with great wisdom. 

I was always impatient to get a new posture from him but he made me wait for months. In these months of waiting, I learned how to be patient and have faith in my master. I also learned not to have any expectations, but just accept what he gives because he knows what is best for his student. But still, I couldn't perfect my patience and contentment even though I tried hard. There was always one corner in my heart which would pop out and say, "When is he going to finish the primary series?" The human mind is strange and difficult to control. 

Most of the times, we communicated only through silence. I always sensed answers coming to me through silence. The great respect I had for him, made me hardly speak in front of him, but still we did communicate.......with less words. One day, as I was practicing, suddenly, the two words from the Yoga Sutras suddenly resonated in my mind, and they were, Abhyasa which means practice and Vairagya which means detachment. Suddenly, I looked at him and asked him, isn't Abhyasa and Vairagya important to progress on the path? He looked at me and gave his usual sweet smile and quoted a few shlokas in Sanskrit which I couldn't memorize, and said, "Yes, both are very important. Continuous practice and detachment helps you progress and they must be adopted for the practice of yoga. "Later on, I contemplated on what he said, and it revealed more answers. If you don't have practice and detachment moving together, you are likely to get stuck on some level and not progress towards realizing "Truth". Like this, there are many examples which I could share. But it was only after the first birthday of Guruji I attended in 2004, our relationship started to get closer. It wasn't obvious for anybody. Not even for me did he show that he loved me, but it was just understood between us. But he always maintained a healthy distance and maintained his dignity and self-respect. 

Another day, during my practice I asked him, "Guruji, how do I get rid of my vasanas (which means sense pleasures and desires)? He said, "As you practice, it will all come out on its own." I wasn't satisfied with the answer and I asked him again, "But how do I get rid of them". He said again the same words and then I just kept quiet and thought to myself, maybe I should meditate harder. It was time he had to teach me Baddhakonasana, a posture in which we have to bend our legs and bring our feet together in a sitting position and place our bent knees flat on the floor to our sides. The pain would tremendous and it has created injuries for many people including me. I was complaining of pain for days and I couldn't walk properly. Then suddenly, Guruji walked up to me smiling and gave me Tiger Balm and said, "Use this, it will be good for your pain". I was surprised and thought in my mind, "Wow, I've never seen him do that". 

Guruji was also very strict about his tradition and caste and religion. Of all he was very strict about being a vegetarian. I just asked him once, "Guruji, doctors say egg is good for health. Do you think it's fine if I take eggs?" I asked him this question because on the previous day I took two boiled eggs. He smiled and said, "No, you should not eat eggs. No non-vegetarian food, only vegetarian." It was early New Year in 2005 and I wished him a happy new year. He looked at me and said, "English new year only for English people. For Indians, new year is Ugadi". Ugadi is the New Year celebrated by the people of Karnataka around 27th of March every year. 

More or less, I looked up to him more than a Guru and I was growing increasingly attached to him and my love was increasing day by day. I had come back to Chennai for a few months in the year 2003. In December 2003, one night he appeared in my dream and said, "I won't be living on earth for long". And the dream was over and I was thinking for a long time what it meant. But soon I decided to go back to Mysore and resume my lessons with him.He appeared in my dreams many times showing different signs. Sometimes, when I would be leaving my room for the class, I would hear a voice saying, "I am not coming today". I would be waiting for him to come, sitting at his doorstep, and suddenly his driver would come and inform us that he's not coming for the day. As I said, he always communicated more from his mind than with words. He tested my love and respect for him many times by ignoring me for days and not speaking to me or looking at me at all. But still, I was determined to prove that my love and respect for Guruji was real. It was a spiritual connection I had developed with him. 

It was late 2005, and I was already feeling irritated with the life in Mysore, and I felt a strong urge for a change of place. And I was also almost about to finish the Primary Series. I was still wondering, what kept him waiting that he wasn't willing to finish with me and start the intermediate series. Pressure was building up on my father to support me further also. And it all accumulated into one situation of unease. I just wanted to leave Mysore, but not Guruji. But finally, in early 2006, he started with the finishing series, but my heart was sad to leave him. I was crying in my heart, how I could ever leave him. I won't be able to forget him ever. That was my thought. He knew my thoughts very well, and he stopped coming to me in the classes. He stopped assisting me or giving me any attention. Months in advance he knew I won't be with him after a few weeks. I hadn't planned the date of leaving, but still he knew I won't be coming back, and somehow he was successful in breaking the attachment I had. He just ignored me and showed no emotions at all. He kept me totally away from him. The last few months in 2006 were really tough to handle. On one side, I couldn't continue due to the circumstances, and on the other side, I couldn't leave him due to the connection I had developed with him. 

But all through the three years I spent with him, everyday I learned something new and different. I learned what tolerance and patience, and unconditional love was. I learned how to impart wisdom to others without losing my patience. I learned not to discriminate students and I also learned not to look down on people who are not able to learn as quick as others. Guruji did that. He taught everybody in a different way. He did push students for perfection, but he pushed everybody with the same force, regardless of their speed. He never discriminated and gave special attention to the one who was extremely good and ignore someone who was not good. Above all that he taught, his main teaching was about the inner learning. He did show that he was attached to gold and money. He did show he was living in luxury. But, I noticed that he knew very well who he was and what he was doing. One part was attached to materialism, while another part of him was resting in the Supreme Absolute. There was no doubt he had found the Supreme. His body was living in luxury and his soul was living in renunciation. 

I saw the Supreme Brahman in him. I always bowed to the Supreme in him. I left Mysore with a heavy heart and I could never come back to see him. But I always have his teachings in my heart to this day. I always bowed at his feet with the mantra, "Gurave Sharanam", which means I bow at the feet my master. Once I asked him, about realized souls. I just mentioned about some advanced yogis and he replied, "Realized souls never see this door as a door. They don't see the wall as a wall. They only see God". 

I always felt, I left the class everyday with something precious.......... more precious than Ashtanga Vinyasa. I learned from him...... it is not important how well you can bend your body; it is not important how far you can stretch yourself. This is just a primary preparation to make your body sit for a long period of time in meditation. But through this process of bending and stretching, it is important to watch your Self, and watch your mind. In the process of observing yourself, and the changes happening within, you have to know who you are. You have to come in contact with your true identity which is the Self. Everybody feels proud they have perfected all the postures and they have become so called teachers, but in the process, have they been able to bend their egos? I learned this from Guruji. Over the years, I was not able to perfect the asanas he taught me, but still, I learned to bend my ego as much as I could. He crushed my ego over and over again for which I am very thankful to him. He always reminded me subtly that it is not important to bend your body, but it is important to bend your ego. Bend your mind, and control it so you don't get attached to the asanas and don't let your pride on a ride that you are practicing Ashtanga and you are great because you have attained flexibility.

Many of us miss the inner learning and stay attached to the physical self which is bound to perish any moment. People forget that. Our pride makes us forget that one small accident or a mishap could stop us from practicing yoga for life. Then where is the body which was there before? Is that the true learning Guruji has been giving us, perfection of the physical body? No. He gave us great lessons, the lessons of the inner self through physical training. And, I keep this lesson close to my heart and share it with all who want to listen to me about my personal experiences with Guruji. I am sure there are many senior students of Guruji who are great teachers who have had their unique experiences.... and I pay my due respects to them. But this article is just a tribute paid to him, which no newspaper did on a national level and my country unfortunately never realized they had a great master living in Mysore. None of the big newspapers published anything about him on a national level. 

So, this is my way of paying my due respects to Guruji for his invaluable service he has given to mankind and for sharing the most ancient knowledge to millions on earth who are benefiting from him today. When I heard finally, that Guruji passed away on 18th May 2009, I remained silent, and just told myself, his duty is over, and he has left his body. But, we must keep his teachings alive. I repeat again, I bowed to the Supreme Brahman in Him. And, I always connected to the Truth which is ever permanent.....in him. I always sang a chant dedicated to him which I learned from Yogoda Satsanga Society of India, composed by Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda called Deliver us from Delusion. It goes like this, 

  Deliver us from Delusion

 

Think ye in thy hearts,
Lotus feet of thy Guru.
If you want to cross the ocean of delusion,
Shaming the white lotus in purity,
Beyond all duality,
Guru image of Brahma, 
Deliver us from delusion
Drunken Mystic is specialising in Yoga and meditation. He is also pretty well-versed with spiritual philosophy. He completed the Primary Series of Ashtanga yoga under his Guru the Late Shri A.K.Pattabhi Joise.
This Article has been viewed 372 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)
» left by Anonymous
 2 years 300 days ago.
More Practice and Detachment lovely piece of advise-Thank you Father Joise,Thank you Shyam ji for such a lovely article. --Jai Sri Krishna
» left by Drunken Mystic 2 years 300 days ago.
33 fans. Follow Drunken Mystic on twitter!
Thank you for your comments. I wish you mentioned your name. Anyway, thanks again.
Regards,
Shyam
» left by sita
from Jakarta 2 years 299 days ago.
Nice story. Keep it up!
» left by Drunken Mystic 2 years 299 days ago.
33 fans. Follow Drunken Mystic on twitter!
Thank you very much Sita.
» left by shobana
 2 years 295 days ago.

It is truly one of the most endearing  and lovely ways to pay tribute to your Guru by sharing your sacred memories and experiences that you had with your him. I'm sure it was not so easy to bare your flaws and insecurities while writing this piece, yet you have cared to do so just out of your love for your guru and so that the reader could connect with the person. Indeed if he was a great guru I'm certain that you were almost the ideal shishya too. It is my appeal to you to please carry forward the work entrusted to you by him with all sincerity and carry forward this message to the wholr world about the beauty of our beautiful tradition of guru Shishya Parampara.

» left by Drunken Mystic 2 years 294 days ago.
33 fans. Follow Drunken Mystic on twitter!
Thank you very much. I hope I could write more and I will continue to share more experiences. :) Thank you for the comment. 
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.