Feeling Sad When Someone Dies – Death Is Natural & Inevitable – We Cry
Posted: Saturday, January 29, 2011
by Drunken Mystic
http://drunkenmystic.wordpress.com
It takes a long time for a spiritual aspirant to understand that death is nothing but a transition. Just imagine taking a plane from New York to Chicago. You cannot see your loved ones once you are on that plane but you still continue to exist in the time-difference, in a new place, and you haven't forgotten them. They (in New York) know that you exist in Chicago this moment.
Sadness is natural because there was so much love exchanged, attachment was there and so many pleasant and bitter memories.I can also remember the moment when I got to know of my mother’s death, I couldn’t hold it inside anymore. From one moment of her lively and nurturing presence to a moment of absence meant to me, an absence of love, shelter, food, and above all my childhood. The whole world changed for my father, and my two sisters. But still life had to go on after that and we tried to cope up with the change and daily challenges.
Death certainly brings a huge change in people’s lives. For years after my mother’s death I always lived in the fear of losing my father too and becoming an orphan. Seeing the stark reality staring at my face, I knew now at the age of 12, that anything could be possible from hereon. I must be ready to face anything in life, even if I had to face death myself.
So how do we handle this bitter moment, or bitter reality called death? The only way to do so is by realizing this life is nothing but a dream. We are all like the passengers on a train. We come from different homes and meet up for a short journey, share some laughter, love and nice conversations, and as each station approaches, a passenger says, “Oh, this is my station. I have to leave. It was nice meeting you all. See you.”
Sometimes, I have met people who have made the most remarkable changes in my life by bringing tremendous love and friendship for a brief moment and they just disappear all of a sudden. There is this moment we see that we have to part and yet we never exchanged any details of contacts. The gentleman looks at me and says, “So, we shall meet each other again in the stars?” He was highly spiritual and very advanced. He was from the Netherlands, and travels often all over India. I will never forget the spirit of friendship and warmth he shared with me and, with others. We never met after that. I still learned a big lesson from him.
Death is also similar thing. Life exists, as long as attachment lasts. Our consciousness is bound towards something; we have some attachments stored in our sub-conscious minds. These attachments are usually towards our parents, siblings, friends, lovers; attachment towards fame and glory, money, material comfort. As long as these pre-stored sub-conscious impressions continue to last, we continue to exist in the body.
Most of us are not aware of our life patterns like yogis and mystics are aware of. Advanced mystics like Swami Vivekananda, Paramahamsa Yogananda, Christ or Buddha knew their life patterns. They could see through time – past, present and future. This is why they had no fear of death. They were never sad to cast away their bodies. They did it willingly, when they considered the time was right.
Most of us are not evolved enough to see death. Many even get angry at the mention of it and say, “How could you be so rude to talk about death?” Even in my family circles if I ever mention the word death, they say, “Don’t mention it. That is a bad omen.” Death is not evil, not a bad omen. Death is just a transiting phase for the soul to move on. The body is like a cloth, worn by the soul – as the Gita says, just like we change different clothes everyday, so does the soul keeps changing bodies for evolution!
This is where karma comes into action. Our psyche is already aware of what actions and decisions need to be taken at a particular time, place and moment of our lives. Apart from the free-will offered to our ego consciousness, there is something which is also pre-ordained. We all have a date and time of birth in our certificates, but we cannot determine the date and time of death. But, the date and time of death is already imprinted in our soul consciousness and we bring it with us the moment we enter the womb of our mothers.
Many times I would go and stay at the Yogoda Satsanga Society of India, Ranchi. The same organization is Self-Realization Fellowship in California. I would stay there over a week like many other devotees and spend my time meditating and reading spiritual books. During this period of one week, we would meet many families, individuals from different cities, towns, villages and countries. To my surprise, we would develop such nice friendship with each other, that I would almost forget the impermanence of this momentary feeling. Over a week’s time I at least observed passively about three to five families come and leave and yet leave behind sweet memories of friendship.
That was the time I was awoken to the reality of transitory-ness of life. I just saw everything change so quick and fast in front of my consciousness, I realized that life is just like that. We all come, stay together for a while, love each other, fight, quarrel, and then patch up again and then suddenly one day this life is not there anymore. Somebody hasn’t turned up on the attendance roll call. That somebody was my best friend, brother, sister, my father, my mother who used to sit right beside me in this institution of life. We all took the same classes and continue to take classes, but we seem to have varied levels of perceptions, intelligence quotients and our own imaginations and observations. We even come to our own conclusions from our lessons from life.
What matters in the end is to live in harmony till the moment comes. There can be no better teacher than life itself. Life is the wisest and most mysterious Guru. Life can take us through various river streams, clean and dirty, muddy and murky, smooth and rough roads, but finally it has to end somewhere. The end lesson is not just death, but it is moving on to a higher grade of learning.
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More commentsI do believe in an after life, but tell me DM do you believe in a hell after death?I would say, the Hindu Puranas - one of the oldest scriptures on earth have heaven/hell concept and so does the bible and Quran. In my opinion hell or heaven does exist. But hell doesn't determine to be the abode of atheists or agnostics, and non-believers of Christ, rather it is the abode of people who have broken the law of nature. Just like how we get arrested for breaking constitutional laws in our country and sent to prison for a term, hell is also a prison for our astral bodies but not a permanent place of stay. We move on from there for another life in another body based on our karmas of our past life on earth. The cycle goes on until we attain soul-realization and Christ also often spoke of this. Thank you David.
DM
This is a very touching article, DM, I really appreciate you writing it, because my worst fear is the death of someone I love. What you wrote about your mother is very sweet and touching, and you are a fantastic writer, this is a very revealing and thought provoking article that I am glad I read.
Thank you,
SydneyThank you very much Sydney. I live to this reality everyday in my mind to see how it would be when my near and dear ones cease to exist. But if we question death, we can ask what is it? Death is happening in every moment of our lives. There is a death of friendship, love, death of our desires etc. If we learn to see impermanence in everything, then we would also realize the impermanence of physical contact with loved ones. We face this hard situation of separation and end to a particular feeling in our hearts many times, and that inner feeling which reminds us that it is the end of love, end of attachment is the actual death. Thank you for commenting.
DM
A very interesting philosophy DM, diffcult to really get into but interesting. I certainly believe in another life after death but even so, it is difficult to part with a dearly loved one, from this life.The reason it is difficult to part with is because we "think" that this life is very real and we want it to be an eternal truth. Even science is today accepting that we create what we think. The day won't be far when science even acknowledges that the body is a projection of thought. Everything is thought Joel. Everybody is God. There is nothing that exists outside the mind. Every single particle, atom, molecule, all, exists only in the mind. The world you are experiencing right now around you exists only in your mind. Thank you.
DM
"WE CRY" - that's what exactly happens! But more because we are all self-centered and our emotions are there to satisfy our personal egos - like, I have lost some one, what will I do from now on? I won't have that person to talk to, or laugh together with, or to care for. It is all the way I, I and I. How much serious thought do we give to what happens to the departed soul - will it land in heaven or hell? - or when and in what form it will be reborn? Not much!That's a nice explanation Mohan. We don't really give it much thought as you say. Most of them just want to blindly follow what the scripture says because they have been brainwashed by the priests. It is with every religion.Thanks DM!
This is very transparent DM. In fact, a doctor once said that death itself is not painful so I can't agree with you more about life-death. It's just a transition or a stopover elsewhere.....Thank you Hilda. Only if we all realized the transitory-ness of death, probably we won't feel the pain.
It must have been incredibly difficult to live your life in fear of losing your dad after losing your mother. I agree with you though, death is just a transition to another place and I believe it's a good place, yet still knowing that, although I don't fear death, I fear the death of those I love, selfish on my part I suppose. Very good article DM.Thank you very much Brianna. One of my Masters Paramahansa Yogananda wrote "Autobiography of a Yogi" in which even he shares the same experience of having lost his mother when he was only 12 and he says, "God only took my mother away because He wanted me to yearn for the love of Divine Mother" and he did become a great spiritual guru after that. Ever since I have learned to see the spiritual essence of life, I have been feeling much better now. Birth and death is just a cycle which keeps on and on until we attain perfection.
Your plane and traveling explanation was one of the most exact and effecting metaphors for death and reincarnation I have ever seen- couldn't have done it better myself...It's obvious that you are generously and deservedly, I might add, receiving this precious and invaluable information and knowledge from the Rashis-- what you are doing with this gift is marvelous!- Thank you again DM- I would say bless you, but you've already been blessed-I will just say- may it grow well, and continue long.... Always- EllaThat is really sweet Ella. Thank you so much. I just wish that I can share the grace with everyone I come in contact with, near and far. That means SearchWarp friends too. :-)
DM
Thanks for sharing this deep and wonderful article. Everyone needs to know that somewhere, other people also experience what they have. Yes, death really is just a transition to another place and another time. I think what scares people is the uncertainty it gives to us. Life after death is a mystery only you can answer for yourself when you get there.Well said, Willam. Only the person who is subject to experiencing death will really know where they are going. It could be a rebirth, or it could be some place yet to be discovered. We never know. Thank you. :-)
I was saddened by my brother's death as well as my grandmothers. That was devastating for me. I was only a kid when my brother died and my grandmother passed away about 3 years ago.I know how it can feel when you lose someone you love very much. :-) Grandmothers are very lovable by children and I know how much I missed the fact of not having got enough time to get close to my grandfather.
I truly enjoyed your article! It came into my life at just the right moment. Thank you.Thank you Rosemary. I am glad it helped you and you enjoyed it. You are welcome.
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